Gaslighting Yourself During a Pandemic

I’ve heard a lot of “trying to stay positive,” “I prefer to think positive,” etc., so far, and that’s cool. I get it. But, for me, sometimes telling myself to stay positive feels like gaslighting. You see, there’s this tiny little voice in my head that goes “sure, think positive,” and then laughs out loud, obnoxiously loud, and she makes me feel like an idiot. Instead of saying to myself or others “stay positive” maybe it’s better, during this wild time, that I acknowledge what’s happening and allow myself to feel everything I’m feeling. Would that be so bad?

Can’t we be okay with the thought that sometimes things are bad?

Rather than tell myself to stay positive I want to be free to say this is so fucked up!

I want to wallow in that for a bit because it’s okay for me to feel bad emotions. It’s okay. Then, I play with my cats. Meditate for a bit (I like Kirtan Kriya 11 minute meditation because I don’t have to think about it – I just do it). Maybe I’ll stretch and do some yoga. Drink water (with lemon). Breathe. And do my best to not gaslight myself.

Every feeling I have right now is okay. I’m not going to judge myself. I’m just going to have thoughts. And then I’m going to stuff each thought into a tiny bubble and let it float away, into the universe. The universe can carry the weight.

Ultimately we have little control over much of our lives. Sure, we can live with intention. We can think positive. We can set goals. But sometimes shit happens.

But we humans are resilient. We are survivors. We are amazing.

Rather than staying positive how about doing these things:

  • Write 5 things you are grateful for in a journal. Every day.
  • Set an intention each morning.
  • Reflect on the day each night.
  • Take time to evaluate what’s truly important to you.
  • Allow yourself to sit. Feel the feelings. And be okay with them. The fear. Be okay with the fear. Then, do your best to let those feelings float up up and away.

❤️ sending love and light to all.

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