PMS

Listen. I feel like I’m quickly going crazy. Not slow crazy       quick crazy.
Fuck!

The urgency to get into the bath is palpable. It’s the rain. The rain makes me this way.
Ring. Ring. My mom. My dad. Ring Ring. My mom. My dad. A friend I just called
but no longer want to talk to because the sound of raindrops forced me to get in the bath.
Forced me to reflect. Forced me to listen. Listen. Raindrops. Splash. Thunder. White noise.
Bombs away Green. Purple. Pink. Bubbles.

Listen. Listen to the rain. No sound. Clear my head. Clear. Rain. Only rain. Wash away. Wash away.
Wash. Button. Brass. Black. White. Porcelain. Blue. Sticker. Toilet. Wicker. Hush

Listen. Rain.More Rain.Orange toes. Chipped.Knock Knock. “Are you in there?” Intruder.

Listen. Louder. Rain. Louder. Pounding its way in. The window is open. I opened it. I set it free.
Cat. Rain. Still today. No wind. Bra. Keys. Bermuda. Plane. Friends. No friends. Trash. Slow. Slow.
Ready. Yoga tonight. Three hours. Rebirth. That’s what I need. A rebirth. Can I leave tonight?
No I don’t want to leave but but

Black. I love black. My journal black. My shirt black. My bookmark black. Black. Absence of color.
No. All colors. Black. Black is good. Black. Car. Hand. Bottle. Label. Black. Design by numbers.
Life by numbers. Not rain. No numbers. Nature is my savior. Nature. Nature. Water. Sky. Earth.
Dirt. Dirty. Mud.

Buried. Love. Forever. Ring. Ring. Ring. Phone. Shut up. Off. Silence! Go away! No contact. No contact.
Beep. Beep. Fuck. Silence.

Listen. Stop. Knock Knock. Pause. “Yes. I’m in here.”

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